So, this morning, as he lay in his bed and coughed a bit, I rolled over and immediately drew the monitor to my ear and listened. BUT...this time, I took a deep breath, fought the tears, chills, throwing up, fought the pacing, fought the urge to crawl into a fetal position while sweating profusely...and YES, it's that bad sometimes. But, not this time. Instead, I simply reached over, took the monitor and turned it OFF. And you know what? It worked. And he was fine. And I actually fell back asleep.You see, most grown ups work on logical things, like spending less money, controlling their hormones, finding a job, learning to love others. That's what big people do. I on the other hand, in the land of fear, have to work on holding down the vomit when dealing with my son coughing.
So, there you have it. I'm a germ-a-phobe. But I'm proud to say that I'm doing better. And I'm learning. I'm learning that sometimes you're up, and sometimes you're down.... And sometimes.... you just have to turn off the monitor.
And that's okay with me.