Beetlebugz
danandbekka@gmail.com
  • Home
  • Blogs

Beetlebugz

Not even my anxiety.....

9/8/2012

2 Comments

 
Picture
I had a very scary moment this afternoon. I was on the computer and Rowen was about 6 feet behind me, playing. I had a feeling to go check him, so I walked over to him, picked him up, and his mouth was open and he was gagging. My fingers immediately dove into his mouth to find he had one of Emma's small toy parts LODGED in his mouth. He could not open nor close his mouth anymore, because it was lodged vertically. I finally got a good grasp on it and pulled it out, and he vomited, and I comforted him. As he cried I held him, and seconds later he was fine and smiling. It bothered me all day, and I was extremely watchful after that...and of course COMPLETELY freaked out.  Ah, the joys of a freaked out mother. Yep. Thank you, Anxiety. Nice to see you again.  

But it wasn't until tonight that it really hit me. If it had been a few more seconds, we could possibly be sitting in a hospital, or surrounded by friends and family in quick embraces as they cry and tell me how sorry they are for our loss. Now, it may sound over the top. I may be exaggerating slightly at "what could have happened". But that's what I do. Sometimes I lay in bed and think of all of the horrible things that can happen and I practically have a panic attack. Have you ever done that? Yeah, it's a bummer.  Tonight I had to say a prayer to ease my mind and think of happy thoughts. It was almost overwhelming, the thought.   

 So there I was tonight, holding this baby boy in my arms, and wondering what I must've done to please the Lord enough for him to tap me on my shoulder today and remind me to check Rowen. It was kind of a spiritual, deep moment for me. Different things going through my head, looking at things in a different light. I am sure it won't be the last time I have that little thought or inspiration pushing me to check my children when I've been not so smart.  But if something did happen, if tragedy did strike, and for some reason our hearts were left broken, I cannot ever say we weren't blessed. We will have had wonderful, amazing lives with these kids. 

And not even my anxiety can take that away.


Picture
2 Comments
Mirranda
9/9/2012 06:05:08 am

Brandon- I really think that she should write a book she's really really good with her words and putting them together and stuff.

Me- I love you Becky it's so scary how much the same that we are I think pretty much all the same things that you do I freak myself out and I over think about things stress out and then Brandon has to calm me down... I love you and I'm proud of you for posting and paying attention to you're feelings!

Reply
Becky
9/9/2012 02:37:27 pm

You guys make me so happy, and you make me laugh!! Mirranda, thank you for posting and I love that you read these!!! And Brandon, you just made me feel so good :) Love you guys so much.,

BTW, Mirranda, you r right, we almost are EXACTLY the same :)

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Rebbecca Lynn Rodgers

    I am a writer, a mother, a wife,  and a daughter of God.  I hope what you find here inspires you and helps you.
    If you would like to contact me, please feel free to do so!


    Email: danandbekka@gmail.com 
    or
    leave a message here!

    Archives

    December 2016
    May 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    April 2015
    October 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.